Disclaimer: I wrote this on Thursday, but I’m not posting until now (INSOMNIA) because it’s judgey, and I’m hesitant. Please accept my advance apologies.
Kieran goes to occupational therapy twice a week. I almost never take him because I’m usually at home with the littles. But I’m here today.
Oh, am I ever HERE.
The thing I always notice about this place has nothing to do with the kids, kids who are decidedly “different.”
What I always notice has to do with this. And it’s a secret, so I’m going to say it very quietly.
THE PARENTS ARE OHH EMM EFF GEE NUTS.
There’s this one mom who’s an obvious homeschooler. Not that there’s anything WRONG with that. **I** used to want to homeschool, back before I realized **I DO NOT ENJOY THE COMPANY OF CHILDREN.**
But. There are two types of homeschooling parents. There are the ones who are totally normal and laidback and into unschooling and who homeschool for really great reasons and do really AMAZING things.
And then there are the ones who homeschool because OMGIdon’twantmykidsocializingwithyourgrossslashimmoralheathenchildren.
(I can already tell this is going the way of the divisive post. Sorry about that.)
The ones who would say today something that was said to my own early-20s mom about me when she was living at her parents’ house in the midst of getting divorced from my dad:
“Mediocrity breeds mediocrity.”
(NO SHIT. THIS WAS SAID. ABOUT ME. AT LIKE AGE 4. I KNOW, RIGHT?!)
Anyway, these wackadoodles are disproportionately represented among parents whose children require occupational therapy services, I have to say.
I was just sitting next to one of them. When I walked in, she was sitting with her daughter, probably six, the sister of the one who needs OT (presumably, the “normal” one), with a manila folder. Inside the folder were black and white line drawings, dutifuly colored by the little girl at some other time (we don’t color pictures at OT), of children engaging in various actions.
Mother and daughter sat on the couch for a good 30 minutes, sounding out the action words on top of each drawing, over and over, before the daughter asked to go play (and, incidentally, began using her voice in a way that SHATTERED MY EARDRUMS).
This is a waiting room for kids. There are toys in this room. Fun toys. And kids often bring OTHER toys. To share. But this poor child had WORK to do.
This has nothing to do with homeschooling, either. I’m not saying that it’s BECAUSE of the homeschooling that she had this work to do.
It’s because her mother is such a freaking MOTHER, all the freaking TIME. To the point that she wants to both homeschool her children AND work with them on reading in a setting in which any rational adult would sleep, check Google Reader, COMPOSE A BLOG POST, whatever.
Everything she said to her children was measured and positive and perfect. Everything her children did was measured and positive and obedient.
I just don’t understand it. I don’t understand not wanting to say a single cross word. Or, really, not SAYING the cross word you want to say. Not getting exasperated. Not wanting to read anything – please, ANYTHING – unrelated to action words over children’s line drawings. I don’t understand bringing a manila folder to OT. I don’t understand always looking perfect and always having clean children. I don’t understand children who are persuaded by simple, kind words. Children who always follow the rules. Children who don’t annoy other kids with their insistent judgey judgments of their own rule following.
I’m sure the OT woman is not always perfect, but I DO think she TRIES to be.
I can’t imagine anything more exhausting.
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That mother? NOT my kind of people. Not at all.
It’s not just some homeschool moms that are like that I’ve learned- and like you said, many homeschoolers are awesome. But I’ve found some private school moms the same way… Saying things like ‘we don’t behave like that, you’re MONTESSORI children!’ As if said children aren’t downloading porn on their ipods and showing my sons and other such things…