Update: Everyone Hates Me

Update.

But first, an aside.

Okay. Everytime I use the word “update,” I think of the end of some of the “Unsolved Mysteries” segments where Robert Stack would, you know, UPDATE you on the status of a particular case. I can actually HEAR him in my head saying, “Update,” and then the update music.

But I just went to find videos on youtube to share with you, my friends who live in my computer, and of all the ones I found, ROBERT STACK DID NOT ACTUALLY SAY, “UPDATE!” It’s just the update music and a little diagonal band across the screen with the word in caps.

Is it possible I have a FALSE MEMORY of Robert Stack saying the word, when, in reality, in all my years and years and years of “Unsolved Mysteries” watching, it was really just a stupid diagonal band of text?

Seriously?

WHAT THE FRICKIN’ HELL, REALITY?!?!

Okay. Remember how excited I was to share with you the newest addition to my physical person? You know, the accessory I will wear on my face, about my eyes, for, oh, the next couple of years?

At work today? NE’ER A WORD.

Not even an, “Oh! You got new glasses! Cool!”

(This is the phrase I use when someone has done something to his or her physical self that I don’t enjoy. As in, “Oh! You got a haircut! Cool!” Because, really, it *is* cool. Who doesn’t like to get haircuts?! That had to have been fun for them.)

So.

Anyway.

Yeah.

It’s okay. Maybe the people with which I spend half of all my waking hours just did not notice the difference.

I mean, the frames are practically THE SAME except for, let’s see, the color, shape, size, lens curvature, and prescription.

In every other way, though – like how they’re FOR MY EYES – they’re identical!

Coworkers FTW!