Great Interview Experiment: Siera From A Voice Of My Own

Hurrah for Neil Kramer’s Great Interview Experiment!

I remain a sucker for unrealistic, impossible dreams. In my mind, I visualize a permanent interview site where Dooce would interview a clueless newbie, a liberal would interview a conservative, and a religious fundamentalist would interview a feminist lesbian. It wouldn’t matter if you liked or agreed with other person. We would still be neighbors, in a Mister Rogers sense… The interviews are random. You may be paired with a Nobel Laureate or an insane person — and it doesn’t matter…

Below is my interview with Siera from A Voice of My Own. I had fun reading her blog and learning a bit about her life before I came up with these questions. (I’ll also be *answering* questions, and I’ll post that link here when it happens.)

And now! Siera unplugged!

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1. You were raised by a single dad starting at around age six. Do you think your childhood was different than that of someone raised by a single mother or two parents? If so, how?

It was definitely a different upbringing that’s for sure. I had nobody to do my hair, or show me how to braid it. I think as a little girl that bothered me the most. I don’t know how my childhood would’ve differed had I been raised by 2 parents as I don’t have an example of that. If my mom had raised me I probably wouldn’t have turned out as well as I did. My mom isn’t overly maternal. Both my older sister’s left the house in their teens when my mom and dad separated and she started dating my current step-dad.

2. How is your relationship with your dad now? What about your mom?

My relationship with my dad is strained. I love him, but he gives too much, calls too much and still talks about me as if I live with him. I love him but I tolerate him more than anything. I don’t agree with certain aspects of his life and I wish he would keep certain things to himself and wouldn’t be such an open book always trying to justify his actions to me. In my late teens or early 20’s at some point our relationship shifted and he became the child and I became the parent. I still depend on his love and emotional support and he is the best grandpa my son could ask for.

My mom and I have an okay relationship it isn’t the greatest. I am the one who does the calling and the visiting. She rarely calls me. That’s how she is with most of us kids. I wish she were more maternal but she isn’t and that is something will struggle with indefinitely.

3. You have a 19-month-old son. Is parenting different than you expected? In what way(s)?

Parenting is way different than I expected. I wanted to be a mother for so long. Then I had a baby and all romantic notions that go along with having a child went out the window. I never knew I could have so much love for one person, but being parent is hard especially not having any family in the same city to help when things get tough. I have less patience than I envisioned myself with, and a child who doesn’t listen to me. I am forever wondering what I can do to change that.

4. You talk in several of your posts about dealing with depression and anxiety. How do you cope with these issues? Have you found something that works for you?

It really depends what is going on at any given time. Going to Vancouver for a night or a weekend sans Aaron and seeing my friends helps. I have had hard time connecting with any one female friend here in Victoria someone who gets me for me. I’ve gone to counseling, taken antidepressants for my post partum depression and recently I took in a boxing class. That definitely helped me releases some pent up anger. I think taking care of myself and exercising really helps and I need to make more of an effort to get in some quality exercise times 3 times per week.

5. In one of your posts this past August, you asked, “What makes a good blogger?” Have your thoughts shifted at all since then? If you could revise what you said, would you add or change anything?

I still don’t know what makes a good blogger. I have a love hate relationship with my blog. I am sad that I have hardly any readers that I know of, but I haven’t been so good with the delurking myself.

What has changed since that post is the brand that some high profile bloggers have made for themselves and flushed their credibility down the toilet by their actions. I have lost respect for certain bloggers and stopped reading some all together.

6. Why did you decide to participate in the Great Interview Experiment? Do you buy Neil’s idealistic idea that we can all live side by side, equalized by the Great Blogosphere?

I participated in Neil’s GIE because I thought it was great way to interact with some fellow bloggers and “meet” new people. I do not buy his idealistic views as he said ‘ Over time, as I began to focus more on “quality” writing, I became a snootier individual. everyone who opens a blogger account instantly tranforms into a Shakespeare.’ Over the years I have started to prefer quality to quantity and I read blogs for content and content alone and if someone can make me laugh, even better.

Having participated in NaBloPoMo this year I can say it is hard to think of quality posts all the time.

I used to believe that all bloggers were equal, but not all members of society are equal as much as this idea is nice, it just isn’t the way the world is. I don’t like it and I do my best not to judge people but not everyone shares the same expectations I have for myself and others. It’s just to say that just because I meet another mommy and our son’s are the same age that we will be friends because we are different people and have different outlooks on life. The older I get, I’ve come to realize that some of my friend’s that I’m friends with now and have been since my teen years, had I met them today I wouldn’t have given their friendship the time of day because we’re at different places in life and have different goals and maturity levels.

7. Where do you see yourself in six years (you will be my age :))? Will you have more children, a different job or house,…?

Is it possible that I just forgot my age?? Yes it is! I am 27, not 28. Phew. I can’t honestly say where I see myself in 6 years! All I can say is yes I will have a different job. My current job is temporary. I am not one the fence with having another child there is a lot of uncertainty there. As parent is so much different than I expected and I lack the patience that I thought I had I don’t know if it’s my best interest or my son’s best interest to have another baby. I hope that I/we are homeowners by then. I do have bit of a fantasy about going back to school to get my nursing and I hope by then I am on my way there.